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The scent of smoke and fire was far behind them when Ash abruptly stopped and got off her speeder. Elara pulled up quickly and raised a brow, “sir?” Ash didn’t say anything for a moment, just standing at the top of the dune with Tatooine’s twin suns glaring down at her. A heavy sigh left her and she sat down, resting her elbows on her knees. Elara frowned lightly and stepped down onto the sand, “you did the right thing, those schematics would have caused tremendous damage.” Ash shook her head, “I’m not troubled by that. I didn’t expect this chase to be clean cut, I expected it to be messy.” “What’s wrong then? If I may ask.” “This planet brings out the worst in me.” “You have certainly been gruffer than usual, sir.” “No, no, I know exactly how I’ve been acting. I’ve been acting like something I can’t be any more.” “Sir?” “Didn’t you find it strange how I seemed not to care about your background? I didn’t even blink when I heard you speak.” “It was a welcome change, I’ll admit.” Ash nodded slowly, a cold smile turning her lips, “I was born here. I don’t remember where I originally came from, I think there was a lot of fire and yelling. The memory is just fragments to me, vague ones. But they took care of me, raised me as their own, they were what I knew; the Gorfa.” Elara frowned, “pardon?” Ash shook her head again, “sand people.” When she heard nothing Ash turned her head, settling her one eye on Elara’s surprised face. “I was a warrior among them, I grew up killing the invaders, the people of the settlements and outposts we’ve been talking to. Now years after exile I come back here and I’m just another intruder. My teachings and conviction to them matter little, I’m an enemy now.” Ash looked away to the dunes again, frowning, “I didn’t care you were a former Imperial. I was happy there was someone else who understood what it felt like to be an outsider.” She smirked and deliberately let her accent slip, the words coming out with far rougher inflections and halting diction, “but I have better grasp of  my accent.” She cleared her throat, the style of speech felt more natural and comfortable to her but it was not easy to switch back to understandable basic and it’s delicate pronunciations. “Do you realize how horribly fragile basic feels? It’s like I could break the words alone with my tongue.” Elara took a breath, moving closer to the lieutenant and settling down on the sand next to her. “Why did you join the Republic, sir?” Ash glanced at her, “certainly not for your reasons, I’m not a noble person. I joined because I ran into them first and mercenary groups would turn me away as soon as I spoke. It wasn’t until after I left Tatooine that I learned to mask my accent. So all they saw was a ‘sand baby’ to mock. But the Republic were looking for willing recruits so I went to see what would come of it. Trained, fought in the outer rim, had my eye blasted out and finally got sent to Ord Mantell. You know the rest.” Elara’s tone was careful, “do you regret it?” Ash sighed lowly, “there’s direction to my life, even I don’t appreciate it all the time.” “And if you could return to your old life?” “I don’t know. There are some things I like about this existence, no matter how inexplicable they are.” “Are those things worth holding on to?” Ash turned her head again, eyeing the other woman with a guarded look, “I hope so.”
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The scent of smoke and fire was far behind them when Ash abruptly stopped and got off her speeder. Elara pulled up quickly and raised a brow, “sir?”

Ash didn’t say anything for a moment, just standing at the top of the dune with Tatooine’s twin suns glaring down at her. A heavy sigh left her and she sat down, resting her elbows on her knees.

Elara frowned lightly and stepped down onto the sand, “you did the right thing, those schematics would have caused tremendous damage.”

Ash shook her head, “I’m not troubled by that. I didn’t expect this chase to be clean cut, I expected it to be messy.”

“What’s wrong then? If I may ask.”

“This planet brings out the worst in me.”

“You have certainly been gruffer than usual, sir.”

“No, no, I know exactly how I’ve been acting. I’ve been acting like something I can’t be any more.”

“Sir?”

“Didn’t you find it strange how I seemed not to care about your background? I didn’t even blink when I heard you speak.”

“It was a welcome change, I’ll admit.”

Ash nodded slowly, a cold smile turning her lips, “I was born here. I don’t remember where I originally came from, I think there was a lot of fire and yelling. The memory is just fragments to me, vague ones. But they took care of me, raised me as their own, they were what I knew; the Gorfa.”

Elara frowned, “pardon?”

Ash shook her head again, “sand people.”

When she heard nothing Ash turned her head, settling her one eye on Elara’s surprised face. “I was a warrior among them, I grew up killing the invaders, the people of the settlements and outposts we’ve been talking to. Now years after exile I come back here and I’m just another intruder. My teachings and conviction to them matter little, I’m an enemy now.”

Ash looked away to the dunes again, frowning, “I didn’t care you were a former Imperial. I was happy there was someone else who understood what it felt like to be an outsider.” She smirked and deliberately let her accent slip, the words coming out with far rougher inflections and halting diction, “but I have better grasp of  my accent.” She cleared her throat, the style of speech felt more natural and comfortable to her but it was not easy to switch back to understandable basic and it’s delicate pronunciations. “Do you realize how horribly fragile basic feels? It’s like I could break the words alone with my tongue.”

Elara took a breath, moving closer to the lieutenant and settling down on the sand next to her. “Why did you join the Republic, sir?”

Ash glanced at her, “certainly not for your reasons, I’m not a noble person. I joined because I ran into them first and mercenary groups would turn me away as soon as I spoke. It wasn’t until after I left Tatooine that I learned to mask my accent. So all they saw was a ‘sand baby’ to mock. But the Republic were looking for willing recruits so I went to see what would come of it. Trained, fought in the outer rim, had my eye blasted out and finally got sent to Ord Mantell. You know the rest.”

Elara’s tone was careful, “do you regret it?”

Ash sighed lowly, “there’s direction to my life, even I don’t appreciate it all the time.”

“And if you could return to your old life?”

“I don’t know. There are some things I like about this existence, no matter how inexplicable they are.”

“Are those things worth holding on to?”

Ash turned her head again, eyeing the other woman with a guarded look, “I hope so.”

My Internet and Laptop Suck Colossal Levels of Dick

My TOR posting of any new images concerning the Tatooine bonus series or Alderaan or anything beyond Tatooine really, is on indefinite hold.

This is due to my laptop and internet suddenly deciding as of last night that it would be just fucking DANDY if not even three minutes into the game I drop to a 3-8 framerate and the sound becomes incredibly grainy.

I already have problems running more modern games because I get random and prolonged drops in framerate and I did with TOR, but I got used to that and enjoy the game anyway.

But this…no, this is just getting fucking ridiculous.

/rage

TOR Drabble: Trooper - Homelands Stranger

“Here,” Ash muttered, handing over a few thick, pale roots to Elara and putting some of her own away in a belt pouch.

“Sir?” Elara raised a brow, looking them over.

Ash looked away distracted, her attention on the dusty cliffs around the outpost. “They’ll hydrate you better, return sugars too.” She looked back at Elara, her features tense, “if you can stomach the taste, I’m told they’re not nice to eat.”

“You’re told?”

“I’m used to them. I wouldn’t know.”

“Do you make a habit out of eating vile tasting plants, sir?”

“No. Just the ones that keep me alive. Lets go.”

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“If I may say so, sir. You’ve had quite an impressive career. You’re the commander of the most elite squad in the Republic. You must be quite proud.” Ash blinked with a bit of confusion, trying not to frown. She wasn’t certain if proud was the word, it felt odd to be considered so highly by a group she felt so conflicted towards. Internally wincing she opted for passive agreement rather than airing her muddled feelings on the matter, “it’s certainly an honour.” Elara almost seemed to smile, “I remember when I first enlisted and qualified for medical specialization. My brother Aleksei completed his technical specialization on the same day.” Ash only raised a brow out of interest but didn’t interrupt, she felt disconnected whenever family was brought up in conversations. During her service before Havoc Squad she would avoid socializing with her fellow soldiers, unable to talk to them about anything relevant besides the mission. She couldn’t have told them about the family she had to go back to, there wasn’t one, which would have been a lot simpler if it was just a case of a dead family. “-my brother advanced quickly, but I became disillusioned as time went on.” Ash mentally berated herself for getting distracted, frowning in what she hoped would appear as concern, “why did you become disillusioned?” she was honestly curious. The only reason she signed up with the Republic military was because she ran into them before the Empire, though she wasn’t about to bombard Elara with questions. A displeased look crossed Elara’s features, “the Imperial military was supposed to stand for honour and discipline. But my superiors discarded those concepts any time a Sith asked it.” Now that was a major difference Ash was aware of, how Sith and Jedi involved themselves with their respective factions. She did question the place of force users in military matters but if they could be competent enough she wouldn’t voice a concern. Elara continued, “I’d always been taught that the Jedi and the Republic were ‘genocidal hypocrites.’ But the only brutalities I witnessed were committed by my own comrades.” Ash tried to hide her confusion, among her old unit she was the more violent of them, the most willing to kill and the first to suggest aggressive actions. Luckily she followed orders even if she disagreed with them. Disobeying commands and acting out of turn among her old tribe was a quick way to earn death. But now she was in control and the one giving commands, she could do things her own way - within Garza’s reason - and that way was usually a violent one. She did wonder if Elara was subtlety pointing out her behaviour but brushed it aside, “did you try to change things or did you defect right away?” Elara seemed to sigh a little, “I raised my concerns with my superiors but they only questioned my resolve. Soon I would’ve been forced to prove my loyalty by carrying out orders directly against my conscience. I chose to defect instead.” Ash crossed her arms, Elara definitely fit into to the Republic better than she did. “Seems you made the right choice.” Elara nodded, “once I made the decision I slipped away during my squad’s next night patrol. I was gone before anyone realized it. I surrendered to the first Republic patrol I came across and declared my intention to defect. That was over three years ago. It’s strange to realize how long it’s been. The Republic truly feels like my home now.” Ash hunched her shoulders and tried to ignore the tight coil in her gut, “glad you found one.”
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“If I may say so, sir. You’ve had quite an impressive career. You’re the commander of the most elite squad in the Republic. You must be quite proud.”

Ash blinked with a bit of confusion, trying not to frown. She wasn’t certain if proud was the word, it felt odd to be considered so highly by a group she felt so conflicted towards. Internally wincing she opted for passive agreement rather than airing her muddled feelings on the matter, “it’s certainly an honour.”

Elara almost seemed to smile, “I remember when I first enlisted and qualified for medical specialization. My brother Aleksei completed his technical specialization on the same day.”

Ash only raised a brow out of interest but didn’t interrupt, she felt disconnected whenever family was brought up in conversations. During her service before Havoc Squad she would avoid socializing with her fellow soldiers, unable to talk to them about anything relevant besides the mission. She couldn’t have told them about the family she had to go back to, there wasn’t one, which would have been a lot simpler if it was just a case of a dead family.

“-my brother advanced quickly, but I became disillusioned as time went on.”

Ash mentally berated herself for getting distracted, frowning in what she hoped would appear as concern, “why did you become disillusioned?” she was honestly curious. The only reason she signed up with the Republic military was because she ran into them before the Empire, though she wasn’t about to bombard Elara with questions.

A displeased look crossed Elara’s features, “the Imperial military was supposed to stand for honour and discipline. But my superiors discarded those concepts any time a Sith asked it.”

Now that was a major difference Ash was aware of, how Sith and Jedi involved themselves with their respective factions. She did question the place of force users in military matters but if they could be competent enough she wouldn’t voice a concern.

Elara continued, “I’d always been taught that the Jedi and the Republic were ‘genocidal hypocrites.’ But the only brutalities I witnessed were committed by my own comrades.”

Ash tried to hide her confusion, among her old unit she was the more violent of them, the most willing to kill and the first to suggest aggressive actions. Luckily she followed orders even if she disagreed with them. Disobeying commands and acting out of turn among her old tribe was a quick way to earn death. But now she was in control and the one giving commands, she could do things her own way - within Garza’s reason - and that way was usually a violent one. She did wonder if Elara was subtlety pointing out her behaviour but brushed it aside, “did you try to change things or did you defect right away?”

Elara seemed to sigh a little, “I raised my concerns with my superiors but they only questioned my resolve. Soon I would’ve been forced to prove my loyalty by carrying out orders directly against my conscience. I chose to defect instead.”

Ash crossed her arms, Elara definitely fit into to the Republic better than she did. “Seems you made the right choice.”

Elara nodded, “once I made the decision I slipped away during my squad’s next night patrol. I was gone before anyone realized it. I surrendered to the first Republic patrol I came across and declared my intention to defect. That was over three years ago. It’s strange to realize how long it’s been. The Republic truly feels like my home now.”

Ash hunched her shoulders and tried to ignore the tight coil in her gut, “glad you found one.”

She didn’t think she would come back to this place and part of her hoped she never would. The scent of the desert wind was subtle and familiar, stinging with the same heat as always. Old teachings urged her to cover the only visible part of her body, lacking a helmet, but she tried her best to ignore it. She wasn’t here as an exile, a lost creature - she was here as a soldier, as the leader of an elite group of warriors. But if that’s how it was why did she feel like a runaway returning home? Was her old tribe still travelling the dunes? She had no way of knowing, a bigger tribe might have overwhelmed them, fought with them over territory. It wasn’t an impossibility yet the thought both disturbed and insulted her. Ash shook her head, she wasn’t here for her past; she had a mission to do.
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She didn’t think she would come back to this place and part of her hoped she never would. The scent of the desert wind was subtle and familiar, stinging with the same heat as always. Old teachings urged her to cover the only visible part of her body, lacking a helmet, but she tried her best to ignore it.

She wasn’t here as an exile, a lost creature - she was here as a soldier, as the leader of an elite group of warriors. But if that’s how it was why did she feel like a runaway returning home?

Was her old tribe still travelling the dunes? She had no way of knowing, a bigger tribe might have overwhelmed them, fought with them over territory. It wasn’t an impossibility yet the thought both disturbed and insulted her.

Ash shook her head, she wasn’t here for her past; she had a mission to do.

TOR Drabble: Trooper Origin - Part 2

How many cycles had passed since she came to this place? Whatever the weaklings told her she could not understand their tongue and found no desire to, restraining the urge to reach for her staff each time they approached her. She usually found a spot above the settlement to perch, overlooking the flatlands from one of the surrounding rocky outcrops. It was quiet with only the wind to keep her company but she preferred it over the outsiders.

She wondered how much longer she would be able to stand it, living amongst them and fumbling to simply exist. They attempted many times to teach her their language and to her credit she did try to learn, however badly she butchered the words and their meanings. Her understanding of the delicate sounds was mangled at best.

Something carried on the wind and she frowned, twisting to look over her shoulder. She still dressed in the wrappings of her rightful people, the mask firmly strapped in place to guard her from the heat. The people of the settlement could recognize her now and she had no more need to violate herself for their benefit.

The sound reached her again and she got to her feet. It was familiar.

Upon the dunes in the distance she began to see figures appear, moving in the direction of the settlement. Her heart raced; it was another tribe. Not her own she could tell, they were not due to migrate for another cycle and the figures of the group seemed to be comprised solely of males. Her own tribe allowed the women to fight and hunt just as freely as the men, resulting in her warrior streak.

They were clearly coming in for a raid and she found herself stuck. They were not her tribe, they might kill her on principle of being an unwanted exile or merely because she shared a species with these frail intruders. So what was she to do? Protect the settlement and fight alongside these disgusting creatures who so arrogantly invaded the sands?

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